Mommy blues
Yesterday was my baby's first day of kindergarten. Since she's the third I've sent off, and she is at the same school with the same kindergarten teacher as the other two, I didn't think it would be such a big deal for me. And she went to a pre-K program at another public school last year (1/2 day). But I couldn't sleep the night before. And when we got there yesterday (she went on the bus, and I met her at school), she didn't want me to go. It's a spanish immersion school, and I think the reality of everything being in spanish really overwhelmed her. I had to pull away and leave her in tears. It was very hard. Even though she does that to me a lot (even when I leave her somewhere she is comfortable) and I know she'll be fine 5 minutes later. I still worried about her all day.
After school, she went to a latchkey program with her sisters. We've been picking her sisters up there for years, so she knows the staff and the layout, so I thought that would be fine. She told me last night she didn't want to go back. She got yelled at for doing something, and the staff member told her "you know the rules!" She told me, "But I don't know the rules." So I called the supervisor, and she said she'll sit down with her today and go over them. That made her feel better.
This morning I asked her "are you excited about school today?" She yawned and said "I'm excited about naptime. I wish it was the first thing!" But she seemed better than yesterday when I left her today. And her teacher said she had cheered right up yesterday (typical!). On monday, I am not going to meet them at school. I hope that goes ok.
*****
This past week, my best friend from college has been visiting. It has been 8 years since I have seen her, and that was at a wedding. I was a bit nervous, but we picked up just where we left off. It has been a wonderful week spending with her. And she has given me a good perspective on my life. She has told me that she is so glad to see all that I have and how happy I am with my girls. Sometimes I forget that I am so blessed -- I am so busy looking at what I DON'T have, I forget what I have accomplished. She is wonderful with the girls. All morning they said to me "we are really going to miss her!" She lives in Maine, so maybe one of these summers we'll make a trip out there!
A week of mixed emotions -- mostly good, but that underlying sadness of watching my girls grow up...
After school, she went to a latchkey program with her sisters. We've been picking her sisters up there for years, so she knows the staff and the layout, so I thought that would be fine. She told me last night she didn't want to go back. She got yelled at for doing something, and the staff member told her "you know the rules!" She told me, "But I don't know the rules." So I called the supervisor, and she said she'll sit down with her today and go over them. That made her feel better.
This morning I asked her "are you excited about school today?" She yawned and said "I'm excited about naptime. I wish it was the first thing!" But she seemed better than yesterday when I left her today. And her teacher said she had cheered right up yesterday (typical!). On monday, I am not going to meet them at school. I hope that goes ok.
*****
This past week, my best friend from college has been visiting. It has been 8 years since I have seen her, and that was at a wedding. I was a bit nervous, but we picked up just where we left off. It has been a wonderful week spending with her. And she has given me a good perspective on my life. She has told me that she is so glad to see all that I have and how happy I am with my girls. Sometimes I forget that I am so blessed -- I am so busy looking at what I DON'T have, I forget what I have accomplished. She is wonderful with the girls. All morning they said to me "we are really going to miss her!" She lives in Maine, so maybe one of these summers we'll make a trip out there!
A week of mixed emotions -- mostly good, but that underlying sadness of watching my girls grow up...
posted by Erin | 8:14 AM
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